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Give The Gift of a Conversation This Christmas.
By Aadil Abbas, Licensed Financial Adviser
It’s that wonderful time of the year when gifts are being ordered, wrapped and put under the tree. Picking out thoughtful gifts for our loved ones is our way of showing affection, admiration and appreciation for the role they play in our lives.
It’s highly likely that as you read this, you’ve just realised you still need another gift for someone who inadvertently wasn’t on the original list.
In fact, research commissioned by the Australian Retailers Association (ARA) forecasts that we will spend $11.8bn on presents in 2024, up $1.6bn on last year’s figures.
However, not all gifts have to cost us money. There is one gift we all can give our families especially our parents and elderly relatives. The gift of a conversation about their current and future care needs.
Thanks to advances in healthcare treatments and living standards we are all living longer than ever before. In the last 30 years, life expectancy at birth in Australia has improved from 77 years in 1990 to 83 years in 2019.
A deeper dive into the data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) shows the incidence of disability and need for assistance also increases with increasing age/life expectancy.
Based on ABS data, in 2022, 4 out of 10 older Australians (those above the age of 65) needed assistance with at least one personal or everyday activity such as household chores, visiting the GP/medical appointments, grocery shopping or property maintenance. This increases to 7 out 10 individuals needing assistance for those aged 85 years or over.
And guess who is providing this assistance in 7 out of 10 families – its either the daughter or son in 4 cases out of the 7.
Our dear parents/elderly relatives are living longer but also needing our help or someone’s help – paid or unpaid to live longer.
So, if like me you are part of the sandwich generation, defined as adults who are caring not just for their own children but will be responsible for caring for their aging parents/relatives, then I encourage you to use this festive season as you gather with family and loved ones to start this, maybe not urgent yet but important conversation.
Recognising this is not an easy conversation to start, here are some tips on how to approach this sensitive subject with empathy and respect.
1. Choose the Right Moment and Manner
Timing is everything. Look for a quiet, relaxed moment when everyone is in good spirits. Avoid bringing up the topic during stressful or busy times, such as during a large family dinner or when there are many distractions.
Start the conversation with empathy and understanding. You might say something like, “I know this might be a difficult topic, but I care about your well-being and want to make sure you have everything you need.”
2. Be Prepared
Before initiating the conversation, do some research. Understand the options available such as in-home care, assisted living, or community services. Having this information at hand can help you provide clear and helpful suggestions.
Check out this link on the government’s My Aged Care website for help you learn more- https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/types-care
3. Listen Actively
Give your parents and elderly relatives the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen without interrupting and show that you value their opinions. This can help them feel more comfortable and open to discussing their needs.
4. Offer Support
Reassure your parents and elderly relatives that you are there to support them. Whether it’s helping them explore care options, accompanying them to appointments, or simply being there to listen, your support can make a significant difference.
5. Highlight the Benefits
Focus on the positive aspects of receiving care. Explain how it can improve their quality of life, provide companionship, and ensure their safety. Highlighting the benefits can help alleviate some of their concerns.
Several studies have shown that early intervention care and wellbeing programs significantly help people age well at home and delay the age at which they enter an aged care/nursing facility.
With the average cost of a room in an aged care facility just under $500K, moving into a permanent care facility can have a significant impact on finances/investments of our elderly loved ones and ultimately impact the legacy outcomes they have worked hard for all their lives to achieve.
7. Start Forming An ‘C3’ Team
Start forming a team focusing on Care, Connections and Considerations.
Getting objective and unbiased input from professionals will enable evidenced-based decision making. I am sure we all know or have heard of someone who had to take time off work, cancel a holiday and/or put their life on hold to take care of mum, dad or elderly relative.
-Consult with the family GP/ Geriatrician on evolving healthcare needs,
-Book an appointment with an Aged Care Specialists Officers (ACSO) who are available at a number of Services Australia centres. They can assist to understand the various government funded services and programs
-Seek out a financial adviser who has specialist qualifications in aged care financial planning to help understand financial, tax and pension considerations of care needs.
Finally, be patient. Remember this conversation might not be resolved in one sitting. Be patient and give them time to process the information. Respect their pace and be ready to revisit the topic as needed.
It’s the season of giving. Give your elderly loved ones the gift of a conversation focusing on care, connection and considerations. It’s a gift which will keep on giving!
Seasons’ Greetings!
Aadil Abbas, Licensed Financial Adviser/Aged Care Financial Planning specialist, Own Financial Planning
(www.ownfinancialplanning.com.au)
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